謁見の間に入るのは爵位の順であるため、私は父にエスコートされて最初に入室する。全員が入室したところで、儀典官が国王レオポルト３世並びに王妃マリアの入室を告げる。
数段高いところに国王夫妻が着席される。王が、頭を垂れる私たちに顔を上げよと命ずる。低く、威厳のある声。地の底を震わすような、私のことを国を亡ぼす悪女だと断罪したときと同じ声。
私は息をすうっと吸ってそして鼻から細く吐き出す。苦しくて意識していないと息をするのを忘れそうだ。それでもいつまでもそうしているわけにも行かず、息をひとつ吐いて顔を上げる。そこにはかつてと同じ為政者の姿。そこにいるだけで周りを圧倒する威圧感。ルドルフと同じバーベンブルク家男子特有の黄金色の髪に、青い瞳。だがその瞳には威厳と同時に冷酷さが宿っている。この瞳から投げられる凍り付く視線に以前の私は恐怖を感じ、本能的に屈したわけだが、今日は、その鋭さはなかった。いつか幼い頃にお会いしたときと同じく口元には穏やかな笑みを浮かべている。
私は内心ほっとした。今の私が何をしたわけでもない。陛下に睨まれるようなことはしていないはず…なのだから当然なのだが。
「皆おめでとう。立派な紳士淑女に育ってくれた。今日は楽しんでくれ」
祝辞を述べる声も明るく穏やかで、それでいて威厳がある。
隣では、マリア王妃が柔らかな微笑みを浮かべている。ふさふさと豊かな黒髪に、透き通るような白い肌。こげ茶の瞳は神秘的で、何より子供を４人産んだとは思えない細い腰。揃って背の高い2人が並ぶ様は、絵画のようで、まさに理想の国王夫妻の姿である。
ふと王妃と視線が合ったような気がした。いや、気のせいではない。私が目線をもどすとやはり目が合った。私が目線を下げて会釈すると、王妃はにっこりと口角を上げて応じてくださった。
お美しくて優しい王妃様。小さなころから彼女へのアピールを怠ったことはなかった。ルドルフの心を勝ち取り、婚約者になるためだ。未来の義母に気に入られることは必須だった。王妃様は私に優しかった。でも他の婚約者候補の令嬢たちにも優しかった。それはルドルフと同じで、家門の均衡を考えてのことだろう。私に対する嫌悪感を見て取ったことはなかったけれど、本音を見せないことについては長けた王妃のことだ。腹の奥まではわからない。これから、ルドルフの妃となることによって、どう関係が変わるか。嫁姑問題が勃発するのか…。
―今の感じだと特別嫌われているようではないけどな
いつの間にやら国王夫妻は退出していて、儀典官が私たちに舞踏会会場へと案内する声がした。
舞踏会の会場への入場順は私たちが最後になる。エスコートのためにすっと出された父の、手袋の上からでも分かるごつごつした感触。私を、家族を、国を守る頼もしい手だ。魔術師団の儀式服についた数々の勲章が眩しい。父の顔を見れば、厳めしい顔だが、優しく、誇らしげだ。父の娘であることに、私は嬉しさと誇りを感じる。
入場が始まると、会場から大きな拍手と歓声が上がる。白いドレスとタキシードに身を包んだデビュタントたちが、一列に並んで入場する様は、後ろから見ていても圧巻だ。入場した順に名前が呼ばれ、皆に紹介される。
玉座には、国王の姿があり、王妃とベルタ王女が並ぶ。当然ルドルフの姿も…。
―ちょっと…あれは…
ルドルフは銀鼠のフロックコートに薄紫のタイ。兄やハンナに鈍い鈍いと言われる私でもいくら何でもわかる。どこからどうみても…私の色…ですよね？それに首元のピンはサファイア。私の左指に煌めくものと同じ。しかも全てが様になっている。秀麗な顔立ちに引き締まった体躯。普段の着崩した格好ですら何を着ても格好いいとは思うが、私以上に私の色を着こなしているんじゃないか？私は嬉しさと恥ずかしさと戸惑いで、内心わたわたと大暴れした。
もちろん、そんな当惑はちらりとも見せなかったはずだが…。儀典官に名前を呼ばれたときに、反応に一瞬の遅れがあったのは否めない。父に手を引かれて、前に進み出て礼をする際に、彼の方を目線を合わせないようにちらりと見れば、そんな私の胸の内をすっかり見透かしたようにルドルフはにまっと笑みを浮かべていた。いや、傍から見ればいつもの冷静沈着な王太子であったに違いない。でも、私にはわかる。あれは私の反応を完全に面白がっている。くっ…驚かされた自分が、それを悟られた自分がなんだか悔しい。
最初のダンスはデビュタントたちが行う。ここでデビューした令嬢たちは、社交界デビューをしたということで本格的に結婚相手が決まっていく。婚約が決まったあとは、舞踏会には基本的には婚約者を伴うものなので、公の場で、父親とダンスをするのは、最初で最後になる。娘から父への親孝行の場でもあるのだ。
ワルツの調べが流れる。王宮舞踏会の幕開けの曲。
いつも威厳を誇る魔術師団長が、ステップを踏み間違えないよう慎重に踊る姿はいささか滑稽だった。それでも母に言わせれば上達した方なのだという。何でも、結婚する際に、母から、「私、ダンスの下手な人とは結婚しないの」と言われて、猛特訓したそうだ。今日のためにも私に恥をかかせたら可哀想だからと、母の厳しい指導が入ったらしい。
「お父様、肩の力を抜いて、顔を上げてください」
私は父に声をかけた。
「私についてきてください」
「あ…あぁ」
私は、父がついてこれるよう、音楽に合わせつつも、ゆっくりとステップを踏んだ。何せこの場も２回目だ。父をリードするのも堂に入っている。
「ルイザ…と、母さんと一緒だな…」
「え？」
「同じことを言われた。」
「お母様に？」
父は頷いた。
「エラもダンスが上手い。母さんの血だな」
「ダンス教師が厳しかったのです。大変だったのですよ。」
「そうだったな」
父は感慨深げに言った。私にとっては２回目。だが、あの時と同じように、いや２回目だからこそこれが１回きりのデビュタントなのだ、という思いがする。
「もうちょっと練習なさらないと、お母様が新しいダンスパートナーを探さないといけなくなりますよ」
「それは困るな」
父は、ははっと豪快に笑い、その拍子に足を踏み間違えた。
最初のダンスの音楽が終わろうとしている。通常の流れならここで、「アレ・タンツェン！（皆踊れ！）」の掛け声が掛かり、会場にいる人たち全員が踊りの輪に加わって総踊りとなるのだが。会場はしんと静まり返って一人の男の一挙手一投足に目を凝らす。
壇上から彼は真っ直ぐ私の方へやってくる。私の周りで踊っていた人達は退き波のように去っていった。そして父もゆっくりと離れて行く。えっと…。私どうすればいいのかな…？
その男…ルドルフは私の側まで歩みよってくると、胸に手を当ててお辞儀をする。私もそれに応えて礼をする。ただのダンスの誘いではないことは明らかなのだけれど、この後の展開に私の胸は早鐘を打つ。
流れるような仕草で、私の手を取り、皆に見せつけるようにしてサファイアの指輪をはめた手に口づける。上目遣いで私の目を見つめるその瞳はどこまでも美しく吸い込まれそうで、見惚けてふらつきそうになる。ルドルフは私の手を引いて国王陛下の鎮座する玉座に向き直り、頭を下げる。私も慌ててそれにならう。
陛下が、ルドルフと何か目で語り合い、小さく頷いて立ち上がった。
I am escorted by my father into the audience chamber first, as the order of precedence is according to rank. After all the guests had entered, the officer of ceremonies announced the entrance of King Leopold III and Queen Maria.
The King and Queen are seated a few steps higher. The King commands us to look up as we hang our heads. His voice is low and commanding. The same voice that shook the depths of the earth when he condemned me as a wicked woman who would destroy the country.
I inhale and exhale through my nose. It is so painful that I almost forget to breathe if I am not conscious of it. Still, I can’t stay like that forever, so I let out a breath and look up. There, I see the same government officials as in the past. Just by being there, he has an intimidating presence that overwhelms everyone around him. He has the same golden hair and blue eyes as Rudolph, a member of the Babenburg family. However, his eyes are filled with dignity and ruthlessness at the same time. I used to feel fear and instinctively succumbed to the icy gaze thrown by these eyes, but today, there was no such sharpness. Today, however, there was no sharpness in their gaze, and they had the same gentle smile on their mouths as when I had met them as a child.
I was inwardly relieved. It was not that I had done anything wrong. I had done nothing that would cause His Majesty to glare at me…so it was only natural.
Congratulations to all of you. You have grown up to be fine ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy yourselves today.”
Her voice was bright and calm as she congratulated them, yet still dignified.
Next to her, Queen Maria was smiling softly. Her hair is full and rich black, her skin is translucent white, and her dark brown eyes are mysterious. Her dark brown eyes are mysterious, and above all, she has a slender waist that makes it hard to believe that she has given birth to four children. The two tall men standing side by side are like a painting, the very image of an ideal king and queen.
Suddenly, I felt as if my eyes met the queen’s. No, it was not my imagination. No, it was not my imagination. When I looked back at her, our eyes met again. When I lowered my eyes and bade her good-bye, she smiled at me and lifted the corners of her mouth in response.
The queen is beautiful and kind. I had never failed to appeal to her since I was a small child. I was determined to win Rudolph’s heart and become his fiancée. It was essential for me to be liked by my future mother-in-law. The queen was kind to me. But she was also kind to the other potential betrothed daughters. It was the same as Rudolph’s, I suppose, for the sake of the balance of the family. I had never detected any dislike towards me, but the queen was very good at not showing her true feelings. I do not know the depths of her heart. I wonder how our relationship will change when I become Rudolf’s queen. Will there be a mother-in-law problem?
-It doesn’t seem like she hates him particularly, though.
Before I knew it, the king and queen had left the ballroom, and I heard the voice of the master of ceremonies ushering us into the ballroom.
We were the last to enter the ballroom in order. My father was quickly escorted out, and even with his gloves on, I could feel his rugged texture. His hands are the hands that protect me, my family, and my country. I am dazzled by the numerous medals on the ceremonial uniform of the Order of the Magi. I look at my father’s face, stern but gentle and proud. I feel happy and proud to be his daughter.
As he makes his entrance, the audience applauds and cheers loudly. The debutantes in white dresses and tuxedos lined up in a row, and it was a sight to behold from behind. The names of the debutantes are called out and they are introduced to the audience in the order in which they entered.
On the throne is the King, followed by the Queen and Princess Bertha. Naturally, Rudolph is also there.
-Hey… that’s…
Rudolph is wearing a silver rat frock coat and a light purple tie. Even I, who am called dull and insensitive by my brother and Hannah, can tell. For all intents and purposes… my color… right? And the pin around my neck is a sapphire. It is the same as the one that sparkles on my left finger. And it’s all so elegant. A beautiful face and a toned physique. I think she looks good no matter what she’s wearing, even in her normal, casual attire, but I think she wears my colors even better than I do. I was so happy, embarrassed, and perplexed that I was inwardly flailing about in a frenzy.
Of course, I’m sure I didn’t show a glimmer of such bewilderment… I cannot deny that there was a momentary delay in my reaction when the officiant called my name. When my father took me by the hand and I stepped forward to bow, I glanced at him without making eye contact with him, and I saw Rudolph smiling at me as if he could see right through my heart. No, from the outside, he must have been the usual calm and collected crown prince. But I can tell. He was completely amused by my reaction. Damn…I was surprised, and I am somewhat frustrated that I was made aware of it.
The first dance is performed by the debutantes. The daughters who made their debut here will have their marriage partners decided in earnest, having made their debut in the social world. After the engagement is finalized, the daughters are basically accompanied by their fiancées to the ball, so this is the first and last time they will dance with their fathers in public. It is also an opportunity for the daughter to show her filial piety to her father.
The music of a waltz plays. It is the opening music of the royal ball.
It was somewhat comical to see the Commander of the Magicians, who always boasts of his dignity, dancing carefully so as not to miss a step. Even so, according to my mother, he had improved. When I was getting married, my mother told me that she would never marry a bad dancer, so she trained hard. He said that his mother gave him strict instructions because she felt sorry for me if I embarrassed him for today.
‘Father, please relax your shoulders and look up.’
I called out to my father.
‘Please follow me.
‘Ah…ah.’
I stepped slowly, in time with the music, so that my father could follow me. After all, this was my second time here. I was leading my father with aplomb.
I was so proud that I was leading my father for the second time.
What?
She said the same thing to me.
‘By your mother?’
Father nodded.
‘Ella is a good dancer too. Must be mother’s blood.’
‘Our dance teacher was strict. It was hard work.
I remember that.
My father was deeply moved. This is the second time for me. But just like that time, I felt that this was my second time, and because it was my second time, I knew that this would be my one and only debutante.
If you don’t practice a little more, your mother will have to find a new dance partner.
That would be a problem.
My father laughed, and then he stepped wrong-footedly.
The music for the first dance was about to end. If this were a normal situation, he would have said, “Ale tanzen! (Everybody dance!)” was shouted, and the audience started to dance. (Everybody dance!), and all the people in the hall would join in the dance circle and dance together. The audience was silent and focused on one man’s every move.
He comes straight toward me from the platform. The people who had been dancing around me retreated and left like a wave. And my father slowly walks away. Well…. What should I do?
The man…Rudolph walks up to me and bows with his hands on his chest. I bow in response. It is clear that this is not just an invitation to dance, but my heart beats fast at the prospect of what is to follow.
With a fluid gesture, she takes my hand and kisses the hand that holds the sapphire ring, showing it off to everyone. He looks me up and down, and his eyes are so beautiful that I feel as if I am being sucked into them, and I almost feel lightheaded. Rudolph pulls my hand, turns to the throne where His Majesty the King sits, and bows his head. I hurry to follow his lead.
His Majesty exchanged some words with Rudolph with his eyes, then gave a small nod and stood up.
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)
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