２
「あぁ！エラ！本当に目が覚めたのね。良かったわ！」
重い扉を物ともせず勢い良く開けて、母がベッドに駆け寄ってくる。後ろからは父がほっと安堵した様子をみせている。
「まだ顔色が悪い。あまり騒がしくするなよ。」
母をなだめながら、私を心から心配しているようだ。やはりこれは夢かもしれない。
魔術師団長の父ヴァルターは、娘の私を庇いもしなかった。それどころか、聖女を呪う
呪術を行っていた、だの、聖女に危害を加えようと企てていた、だの、私に全く身に覚えのない罪状を国王陛下の前で並べ立てた。私がどう申し開きをしようと弁明の機会も与えられず、泣いて訴えても取り付く島もなく、陛下に魔塔への幽閉を進言した。父と兄は、私に敵意を露わにし、母は憐れみを浮かべてはいたが、仕方がないと諦めた様子だった。
両親と会ったのはそれが最後だ。自分を庇ってくれなかった両親への恨みがなかったといえば噓になる。もう、全てが無茶苦茶になってしまえばいいと思っていた。私の破壊衝動に呼応してどんどん魔力は増大した。
その魔力は私を楽にはしてくれなかった。誰も私のことを信じてくれず、あらゆる人から敵意を向けられて、何もかもが嫌になり、衝動的に、魔力の刃を自らに向けた。だが、何度試みても、私の身体を覆う、見えない固い鉄の鎧のようなものに阻まれて、自分では生を終わらせることが出来なかった。
今更、なぜ私を気に掛けるのか。幼い頃のように、いや、聖女がこの世に現れる前のように。優しく大切に慈しみをもって育ててくれた過去の記憶が蘇る。
カレンベルク侯爵家。王国に４つある侯爵家で最も古く、王室との繋がりも深い。現当主である父は魔術師団長の地位にある。母ルイザはその美貌で今も昔も社交界の華である。そして子供は二つ上の兄エリアスとそしてエラだ。侯爵家の名に恥じぬように、と厳しい教育を施されたが、家族の仲は良く、むしろ両親は子供たちに甘い位であった。
「…お母様」
「エラ…。もう…あなたを失うかと思いました。」
母は私の手を握って涙を流す。いつもきっちりとまとめている艶やかな黒髪がはらりと落ち、身なりを構う余裕がなかったのが見てとれる。
「先生、見てやってください」
父に促されて進み出てきたのは、長い白髪に長い白髭の老人。王宮付きの魔法医キルヒマン博士だ。私の頭に手をかざし、肩から腹、足までゆっくりと動かす。そして手を下ろすと、深いため息をつき、険しい顔でゆっくりと首を横にふった。
「あぁっ…そんな…」
母は顔を手で覆う。父は母を自分の身体にもたれかからせて肩に手を置いた。
「戻らないのか」
「分かりません。ただ…命を繋いでいるだけで幸いかと」
目覚めたときからずっと身体に力が入らない。頭を左右にゆっくり動かすのがやっとで、全身がだるい。生まれたときからずっとあったはずのもの。そしてどんどん増大してコントロールするのも困難になるほどだった、私の力。
「エラ、落ち着いて聞いてくれ」
父が厳めしい顔を更に深刻にして告げる。
「魔力が失われている。」
そうだ。この身体のだるさはそのせいだ。
この世界には魔力を持つ者がいる。魔力を持つ者にとってそれは生命ともいえるものだ。全く使えない者も含めて魔力は人それぞれで、灯りを灯す、物を少し動かす程度の生活魔法から強大なものまである。
カレンベルク家の者は代々魔力量が多い。中でも私は抜きん出て多く、６歳のときに軍隊の一小隊に匹敵する力をもっていた。
魔力は、それを持つ者にとってその者の生命と繋がっている。魔力が無くなるということは、魔法が使えないというだけでなく、免疫力が下がって疲れやすくなる。病気やケガで一時的に魔力量が減ることはあっても、ここまでほぼ完全に失われるということは博士も聞いたことがないらしい。私のように元々の魔力量が多い者なら尚更だ。現に私は生まれてこの方風邪一つ引いたことがなかったのだから。
「エリアス様と魔力の型が適合して本当に良かった。これからも一日に一度補給してもらって、滋養のつく物を食べさせて下さい。今出来ることはこれくらいですな。」
キルヒマン博士は自分も何とか治療法を探してはみるが、と前置きした上でそう言った。
魔力にも血液型のように型がある。属性だけでなく相性というものがあって、親子でも一致するとは限らない。エラは兄と同じ風の属性だ。完全に一致はしなくとも属性が同じなら魔力の供給を受けることができる。エラの持つ容量を完全に満たすことはできないが、兄から融通してもらえば、最低限の身体機能は維持できるらしい。恐らくはベッドの上からはうごけないだろうが。
母がハンナに手鏡を持ってこさせた。私が疑問に思っていると母は意を決したように言った。
「あなたに…知らせずに済ませられないわね…見て。倒れてからみるみるうちに弱ってしまったの」
そういって母が見せた鏡に映るのは、真っ白の髪の老婆。
いや、私の姿だった。
母譲りの、長く艶やかな黒髪が自慢だった。毎日何時間もかけてハンナに手入れさせていた。艶もなく、真っ白になってしまった髪。
アメジストの如き輝きをもった紫の瞳はくすみ、肌は辛うじて皺くちゃでないものの瘦せこけてハリもない。
なるほど。これは夢なんかじゃない。
罪深い私に与えられた罰だ。皆が崇める光の聖女を害そうとしたこと、強大な魔力を暴走させて多くの人を傷つけたこと。充分に罰するに値するから、そういうことなのだ。
＿私が誇りに思っていたもの。強大な魔力と美しさ。それを失った。
でも。
これで他人を傷つけることはない。自分の力を持て余すことも、プライドを傷つけられることも。嫉妬心で身を焦がすことも。
私はこれまで自分を苦しめていたものから解放された安堵の気持ちでいっぱいになった。
そうだ。ここからやり直せる。もう一度、人生を。
青白くこけた肌にほんのりと生気が戻るのが自分でもわかった。
Aah! Ella! You really woke up. Thank God!”
My mother rushes to the bed, opening the heavy door with great force. Behind her, my father looks relieved.
He still looks a little pale. Don’t make too much noise.
He seems to be sincerely worried about me while soothing my mother. This could be a dream, after all.
My father, Walter, the head sorcerer, did not protect me, his daughter. On the contrary, he cursed the saint.
He laid out in front of His Majesty the King charges that I had practiced witchcraft, that I had planned to harm the saint, and other charges that I had absolutely no recollection of. No matter how I pleaded, I was not given a chance to explain myself, and even though I cried and complained, there was nothing I could do, so I advised His Majesty to imprison me in the Devil’s Tower. My father and brother were hostile toward me, and my mother, though sympathetic, seemed resigned to the fact that there was nothing she could do.
That was the last time I saw my parents. I would be lying if I said I did not feel resentment toward my parents for not protecting me. I had already hoped that everything would turn out to be a mess. In response to my destructive impulse, my magical power grew and grew.
That magic did not make me feel at ease. No one believed in me, and I was met with hostility from all kinds of people, and I grew tired of everything, so impulsively, I turned the blade of my magical power against myself. But no matter how many times I tried, I could not end my life on my own, prevented by the invisible, solid iron armor that covered my body.
Why do they care about me now? As when I was a child, no, as before the saints came into the world. Memories of the past, when she raised me with kindness, care, and compassion, come back to me.
The Marquise of Cullenberg. It is the oldest of the kingdom’s four marquises and has deep ties to the royal family. The father, the current head of the family, is the Commander of the Order of Magicians. The mother, Louisa, is and always has been a socialite with her beauty. They have two older brothers, Elias and Ella. Although they were given a strict upbringing to live up to the marquise’s name, the family gets along well, and the parents are rather lenient with their children.
Mother…
Ella… I thought I was going to lose you.
My mother held my hand and wept. Her glossy black hair, which she always kept neatly tied up, fell out, and I could see that she had no time to care for her appearance.
Please look at him, doctor,” my father urged me.
An old man with long white hair and a long white beard steps out at my father’s urging. He was Dr. Kirchmann, the royal physician of magic. He held his hand over my head and moved it slowly from my shoulders to my stomach and down to my feet. Then he lowers his hand, sighs deeply, and slowly shakes his head with a grim look on his face.
‘Oh…no…’
Mother covered her face with her hands. My father leaned her against him and put his hand on her shoulder.
She’s not coming back, is she?
I don’t know. I’m just glad she’s still alive.
Ever since I woke up, I have been unable to move my body. I could barely move my head from side to side, and my whole body was sluggish. It was something that should have been there since birth. And my power, which had been growing and growing until it was difficult to control.
Ella, please calm down and listen to me.
My father’s stern face became even more serious.
You are losing your magic.
Yes, I am. That’s why my body feels sluggish.
There are people in this world who have magic power. For those who have magic power, it is their life. The magic power varies from person to person, including those who cannot use it at all, and ranges from everyday magic that lights a lamp or moves an object a little to powerful magic.
The Kallenbergs have always had a large amount of magical power. Among them, I was by far the most powerful, and at the age of six I had the power of a platoon in the army.
Magic power is connected to the life of the person who possesses it. The loss of magical power means not only the inability to use magic, but also a weakened immune system and increased fatigue. It is said that the amount of magic power may be temporarily reduced due to illness or injury, but Dr. Kato has never heard of such an almost complete loss of magic power to this extent. This is especially true for someone like me, who has a large amount of original magic power. In fact, I have never caught a cold in my entire life.
I am so glad that Elias-sama and I have the same type of magic power. Please continue to have me refuel once a day and feed me nourishing food. That’s about all I can do for you right now.”
Dr. Kirchmann said after prefacing his words by saying that he would try to find a cure for the disease.
There are different types of magic like blood types. There are not only attributes but also affinities, and even parents and children do not always match. Ella has the same wind attribute as her brother. Even if they do not match completely, if they have the same attribute, they can receive a supply of magic power. Although Ella’s capacity cannot be completely filled, she is able to maintain a minimum level of bodily functions if she receives a supply from her brother. She probably won’t be able to move from her bed, though.
My mother had Hannah bring me a hand mirror. When I questioned her about it, she said, as if she had made up her mind, “I’ll let you know.
I can’t let you do this without letting you know… look…” she said. Look at her… she has been growing weaker and weaker ever since she collapsed.
And in the mirror she showed me, I saw an old woman with white hair.
No, it was me.
I was proud of my mother’s long, lustrous black hair. I spent hours every day having Hannah groom it. My hair was no longer shiny, and had turned completely white.
Her purple eyes, which shone like amethysts, were dull, and her skin, though barely wrinkled, was thin and lacked elasticity.
I see. This is no dream.
This is the punishment for my sinfulness. For trying to harm the saint of light that everyone worships, for letting my powerful magic run wild and hurting so many people. I deserve to be punished enough, so that’s what I’m going to do.
_What I was proud of. The mighty magic and beauty. I lost that.
But.
I will not hurt others with it. I can’t let my power get the better of me. I can’t let my pride be hurt. I will not burn myself with jealousy.
I was filled with a sense of relief that I was free of the things that had been tormenting me.
Yes, I could start over. I could start over from here. I could start my life over again.
My pale, scruffy skin regained a hint of life.
Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)
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